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Valentine’s Day Jokes and Riddles!

Most of you know by now, that on holidays, I tweet a gaggle of silly jokes and riddles.  So here goes for Valentines’s Day!

Have a smoochy, lovey, happy, smiley and fun Valentine’s day.  Whatever you do.  Whoever you do it with! If you’re alone … LOVE LOVE LOVE yourself a lot today, ‘k?

What’d the boy lite bulb say to the girl lite bulb on Valentine’s day?
“I wuv you watts and watts.”

What’d the boy octopus say to the girl octopus on Valentine’s day?
“I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.”

Who do birds spend Valentine’s day with?
Their tweet hearts!

What do you call a small Valentine?
A Valentiny.

What’d the farmer give his wife on Valentine’s day?
Hogs and kisses!

What’d the snake give his wife on Valentine’s day?
Hugs and hisses!

What’d did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s day?
Ughs and kisses!

What’d the french chef give his wife on Valentine’s day?
A hug and a quiche.

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s day?
“Be my Valenstein.”

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s day?
Absolutely. They’re very scent-imental!

What’d Mr. Pickle say to Mrs. Pickle on Valentine’s day?
“You mean a great dill to me.”

What’d Mr. Squirrel say to Mrs. Squirrel on Valentine’s day?
“I’m nuts about you!”

What do Squirrel’s give each other on Valentine’s Day?
Forget-me-nuts.

What’d Mr. Whale say to Mrs. Whale on Valentine’s day?
“Whale you be mine?”

What’d Mr. Elephant say to Mrs. Elephant on Valentine’s day?
“I love you tons.”

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s day?
“Stick with me and we’ll go places.”

What’d the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m stuck on you!”

What’s a ram’s favorite Valentine’s song?
“I only have eyes for ewe.”

What’d the artist say to her boyfriend?
“I love you with all my art.”

What’d Mr. Bat say to Mrs. Bat on Valentine’s day?
“I love hanging around with you!”

What’d Mr. Bear say to Mrs. Bear on Valentine’s day?
“I love you beary much.”

If everyone in the country drove a pink car on Valentine’s day we’d be a pink car-nation!

knock knock.
who’s there.
olive.
olive who?
olive you.

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