Dad’s ‘Polo Country’ Jacket debut
Hi. I’m a Traveler leaving on a dream vacation. Sure hope nothin’ goes wrong. Oh look, there are two Pretty Blond Stewardesses arriving at this Airport too! Jiminy Cricket I just bet one of them tries to eat the other one’s brains by the end of this Cheapo Zombie Horror Movie Sequel. Can you smell a piece of Direct-to-DVD title a-brewing for a download? Let the ComicCom worship begin. Excuse me while I light a candle at the Drive-In Movie Graveside of Reanimated Corpses. Shhhh I’m watching this.
The good news is that I am in the opening sequence and live to tell this Tale of Terror. I make it to my plane and away I go. The bad news is these girl’s have a friendship tested to the limited just like their 1st movie (spoiler: only one of the original film’s girls is back….for now…until about 3/4s the way through when “someone” comes back kinda dead…are you happy now?). Opening Dialogue: “Let’s be Roomies forever and pass your Stem Cerebellum please. Yum! Pillow Fight. Yuck, Blood!”
Call Time is 10:30pm and we work until 3:00am. Yesterday we were texted ‘Eat Meal Before Arrival’. That’s tact for ‘don’t hold your breath praying Coffee & Donuts will be served’. Until they run out. Quickly. Which they always do & everyone knows. Lesson to be learned? Step One: Sign In. Step Two: Get Donuts & Coffee. Step Three: Fight Someone for the Last Bottled Water. Sadly….yes really.
Making it’s Thriller Chiller Motion Picture Debut…Ladies & Gents I present my Dad’s Ralph Lauren Corduroy with Swede Collar Jacket. Lot’s of compliments on my look, and Wardrobe Lady with great taste says “Approved obviously. Love this!” as she caresses the leather (I am not exaggerating…no you shut up). Hello … how many times do I have to say this…Fashion is Everything. Oh My Gosh I am so kidding. No I am not.
Meanwhile proving ‘Wardrobe Makes The Extra’ there is lots of Fake Cop Background work here in Los Angeles. The guy’s who have their own L.A Police Uniforms & are Big Bruisers work the most. They have all the Fake Gear including Pistols. I will rarely if ever get hired to be a Copper who says “Book ‘em Dano” … but you never know. Don Knotts was. Can you imagine the Real Security Guys’ concerns over our band of merry Fake Cops carrying Prop Guns while we are filming a Zombie Horror Movie at a Real International Airport all night long? Would you fellows please take off your Gun Belts & give us all your Pretend Ammo so we can hide everything until right before Film Roll? Pretty pretty please with a “don’t get us all arrested” on top? Hello 911? I just saw a Cheap Movie being made at LAX and the Police stopped running every time someone yelled “CUT!” What do you mean you hope they paid for a permit?
Once the ‘Picture Car’ is Camera-Loaded, the Blonds pile in to Fake Drive down La Tijera Blvd towards the Flight Path. What is ‘Fake Drive’ you ask? It’s being pulled through traffic while filming with Sound Guys huddled down in the backseat. The Extras hear the scrunched up Sound Guys all grumble about the roar of the planes, which ruin shot after shot. We hear everything we’re not supposed to because a Set PA accidentally puts her Walkie Talkie down & it’s set on LOUD Speaker box. Eavesdrop heaven commences. For 5 minutes we get to hear what is really going on and how this exhausted crew gossips about the folks not listening. ‘Funny Tired Bitchy Bitch’ sums it right up. Not many are at our best at 3am on a cool Hollywood night awaiting a plane that is going nowhere. Fast. Word to the wise…Zombies beware!
Zombie Alien VamPirate Clown (10/31/09)