“I’m sorry … what was your name again?”
Truly thrilled to be Standing In for a couple weeks on another TV Comedy Pilot (I’m busy, hurray, touch wood). Everyone is having a blast & the show is really funny. However none of the other Stand-Ins have ever had signs this big around our necks. Usually it is just masking tape with a first name. Several Dolly Grips actually apologize because they are embarrassed for us. In front of the Electric Department a Boom Pusher jokingly asks me “I’m sorry what was your name again?” Some of the other Stand-Ins hate it so much they repeatedly take their signs on & off after each blocking scene is lighted. Is it me? I have no problem. Everybody knows my name on this Sound Stage. It is nice. I love “John this” & “John that” as opposed to people pointing at me saying “Hey ahhhh … you move to your right” & “Guy in Green come here”. Hard to imagine but for some reason I seem to like the attention (don’t faint). Bonus points….they shot GYPSY on this Sound Stage. Hello everybody, my name is John, what’s yours?
So yesterday on-set a friend tells me a ‘True Story’. As a favor for a buddy she just worked as a Production Assistant (PA) on a film. She was told in advance that she was assigned to a World Famous Oscar Winning Actress (let’s call her ‘Star’, shall we?). Oh and they mentioned my friend should expect in advance to be fired because that’s what happened to every PA so far. Thank you … warning taken boss.
7:30am My friend gets radioed “Get Star to set.” “Copy that” she replies. Knock knock on Star Waggon Dressing Room very very L o n g Trailer. “Excuse me Miss Star we are ready for you on set please.” Nothing. Wait 5 minutes. “Where is she?” “I already knocked.” “Knock again.” My friend hears giggles & whispers behind her & is “shhhhh’d” into sneaking away to hear she’s been set up on their standard prank with this ego gone wild demanding Star (I know…hard to believe, right?). They clue her in. Surprise surprise. The Star comes out of her Dressing Room when the Star feels good and damn well ready to. Got that? Okay. 45 minutes later my friend is sitting on the bottom Trailer step when the Star bursts out and wham-bams my buddy in her left shoulder with the swinging door. Owww! Star is stomping down steps holding china plate filled with cold breakfast. My pal runs to keep up with the Star who kicks screen door into Catering Wagon open & throws the plate hiting the Cook directly in his back while she screams “I Won’t Eat Slop EVER, Hear Me?” Picture please my friend cowering behind. The Star grabs an apron (she’s in full wardrobe, make-up & wigged). “This Is How I Want My Breakfast Made!” as the Star finishes cooking, grabs plate, shoves it under Cook’s face “SEE!” then pushes past my friend knocking her into the door frame again (Owww!) & marches back to her Trailer. SLAM! An hour later Madam Star is ready to come to set. Two hours late.
10:45pm After what can only be described as “the rest of that day” my friend is chasing behind the Star back to the Trailer after the Martini Shot is wrapped. The Star climbs the steps, turns to my friend saying “You’re Fired. Get out.” Owww?