PEOPLE SEEM TO LIKE OUR
UN-EMPLOYEES OF THE MONTH.
We’re taking nominees! Let us know who you think it should be.
Make sure you check out our t-shirts. Perhaps YOU know a person who you think is worthy of being nominated. In the meanwhile, if you’re an unemployee yourself, we suggest you enjoy the company you’re in and we suggest that you keep your sense of humor going! We’ve got a few tips on how to downsize and still keep your mojo up! GOOD LUCK!
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General McChrystal
June unemployee of the month!
The General is known for only sleeping 4 hours a night and only eating one meal a day. Well, after a no holds barred interview in Rolling Stone, this tired and hungry General got the official Pink Slip from the Obama Administration. An aide of McChrystal’s is quoted as saying that a meeting with a French Official was ‘gay’ … so we hope he comes to grip with his PINK Pink Slip.
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EYJAFJALLAJöKULL
May unemployee of the month!
The volcano Mt. Eyjafjallajökull is totally fired (up) this month! It’s belching wonderousness has caused all kinds of travel havoc. Will we be seeing babies 9 months from now? You never know! Extended vacations can cause … well … extended vacations! The Sign says : CLIMBING AN ERUPTING VOLCANO IS DANGEROUS. duh.
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MR. FOOL!
April unemployee of the month!
MR. FOOL wins our April’s unemployee of the month. For those who never remember that the first day of April brings on trickery and chicanery, the day can hold a lot of peril. He’s a prankster and also has a counterpart, Ms. Fool. We celebrate their humor and hope you all had a safe and happy April Fool’s Day!
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MRS.COP!
March unemployee of the month!
The Cop who sunk in wet cement. Uhhhh, need we say more?
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OLYMPIC TECHIE!
February unemployee of the month!
On February 12th, the world watched while The Great One (Wayne Gretsky) stood at the Olympic Opening Ceremony by an empty hole that was supposed to have a ginormous flame on a stick. We love the Canadians, tho. Nothing phases them so this won’t phase us either!
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CHEMICAL ALI!
January unemployee of the month!
On January 25th, Saddam Hussein’s Personal Kurd-erer, Chemical Ali, was officially fired due to his penchant for killing Kurdish people by means of chemical gas. His pink-slip packet included Death by Hanging. At least he won’t be collecting Iraqi unemployment benefits.
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MARK SANFORD!
December unemployee of the month!
On December 11, 2009, Jenny Sanford fired her husband, Mark Sanford, by filing for divorce, calling it a “sad and painful process.” After much scandal involving Buenos Aires, Appalachian Trail hikes (wink wink) and an alledged affair, we applaud Ms. Sanford’s executive decision to reshuffle the corporate structure known as Mr. & Mrs. Sanford, inc. Bye Mark!
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THE MAMMOGRAM!
November unemployee of the month!
Mammograms at 40 were fired this month, only to be needed at 50. Technically, it’s a 10 year layoff, but we’re mourning non-theless. The Government brainiacs came out this month, with a new guideline for woman’s breast cancer screenings declaring that starting at 50 was soon enough. We urge you to consult your doctor before listening to the government or the guy to your left.
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SATURN. THE CAR.
October unemployee of the month!
Sigh. An entire line of cars was fired this month.
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DAVID CARRADINE
September unemployee of the month!
The tragic demise of David Carradine during a suspected dangerous sex act, makes it likely that if someone helped him, this accomplice would certainly be unemployed after such a negative outcome with Mr. Carradine. Or, if the actor was assisting himself in the endeavor, we think he didn’t do a very good job since death was probably not the intended outcome. RIP. We will miss you.
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DR. CONRAD MURRAY
August unemployee of the month!
Michael Jackson’s alledged Doctor, Conrad Murray, alledgedly lost his job when Michael Jackson died tragically this month. Dr. Conrad was hired, alledgedly, in May of 2009 … so his 4 month stint, alledgedly, was enough to alledgedly kill his employer. This, alledgedly, is a horrible way to end a term of employment. Young people, learn from this alledged tradgedy.
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PETER CAMMARANO!
July unemployee of the month!
Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Hoboken’s youngest mayor resigned after a mere 30 days in office for ALLEDGEDLY taking a 25k bribe for some high-rise building project. Along with Mr. Cammarano, the Feds dragged in a few Rabbi’s and alledged a scandal that included selling internal organs for 10k and re-selling them for 160k. Nice.
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