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What a pleasure when the Stars you love exceed your expectations when you finally work with them and they become your closest personal friends (or when you’re an Extra working on their shows and never actually get to talk to them…really it’s the same thing!). It’s such fun to watch Celebs up close all day and judge their every tick and cranny. Plus I like to pretend how much they’d like me if they would just take a moment away from own their selfish lives to see my worth. What?

Recently a Comedic Female Star of Her Own Hit Network Sitcom was hilarious and a sweetie pie all day to me personally (and by that I mean she said to us Extras “You’re all wearing beautiful Jewel Tones” which is her practically asking me to lunch so shut up). I’ve adored her for years and she is really cool and friendly (and earns more points for also working during her 2nd Pregnancy which is a secret so don’t tell). The Production Team went to many lengths to hide her expanding tummy on-camera (but mostly she held a Clipboard in front of her and you could still see she’s Schticking for two). She’s not Jewish but all her time working in NY seems to have rubbed off. A Producer commented about rising production costs and in a Brooklyn accent she responded “A Nickle a Schtickle is now 10 cents.” My Yiddishe Grandma couldn’t have said it better in 1938. Prices keep going up. Oye.

Meanwhile I am playing a ‘Volunteer Towns Person’ in Middle America on her show. Wardrobe requests Conservative Business Casual Wear. Suburbia. I’m wearing my Dad’s Classic Brooks Brother’s Corduroy Blazer – it is my go-to item for these type of Professor Von Johnny bookings. I’ll have a glass of Chardonnay please and make it Fancy.

So I’m having a blast working on this show when disaster strikes. Imagine you are a 21 year old woman and just fell off the Turnip Truck near Jollywood & Vine. You’ve been in town a month and are Unsophisticated and a Real Loud Mouth. And I am told to work standing next to you. All day. I do what the 2nd AD tells me with a smile on my face and a song in my heart even though you are declared Most Annoying Female Person by the entire crew in a landslide silent election of shrugs and sighs behind your back. After hearing you repeatedly make noisy inappropriate comments about the Stars of this show I offer you a whispered suggestion to please not gossip on-set …which you unwisely ignore (how uncool of you to keep exclaiming “Gee so and so is so short!” after we talked. Bad form dear). Really. We all get that you are very nervous & excited about being on a Real TV Show but during “Take 5” Breaks all the Union older Pros quickly walk away from you because we kinda want you to hang yourself and die (put me in that crowd). You are left alone. A 70 year old gal says “Jeepers she’s Creepers”. I spend the day pretending my ears are not exploding at your stupidity. Yes I am judgemental. But only because I am better than you.

Kidding. Not really.

5 Responses to “A Nickle A Schtickle”

  1. Judge away, bro, and often. Hope you don’t have to work with Turnip Girl again. Jeepers, what a dumb-dumb.

  2. John Starr says:

    From your mouth to Goddess’ ears!

  3. Mr. Francis D. Cox (Amsterdam) says:

    So who was the star who said ‘A nickle a schnickle…’?


  4. John Starr says:

    The same gal who said “Two Cents Plain is Ten Cents Now!”

    Sorry I had to say that. Actually Central Casting’s Rule Book states I can’t share that info or I could be fired. Background Performers sign confidentiality agreements and I actually follow it!

  5. Peter says:

    You are so funny!

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